About me:
Some days I feel like I am the most incredible woman in the world,
Some days I find it impossible to lift my finger to do the most menial tasks.
Some people take my kindness for weakness. Sometimes I let it go; sometimes (most of the time) I morph into the ugliest person in the world. I have a lot on my mind these days because I’m getting increasingly frustrated at work (under-valued, under-utilised, not gainfully employed), and having the “I wanna leave but I can’t” syndrome.
Sometimes, I am convinced that what I’m about to do is wrong.
Sometimes, I am frustrated that people tell me I should be looking for another job. It’s just another way to tell me to wake up my idea because my plan to start a business is crappers. Most of the time, I keep my thoughts to myself because I find it very tiring to explain myself.
Well, it’s time to bring out the “you only live once / you are only young once” theory (which I find easier to type it out in words). I applied it once and I think it was one of the biggest achievements I ever had. Well I was (and still am inherently) an introvert ever since I was young. It didn’t help that I wasn’t a good looking teen, and was bashed for being ugly :(. Till today, I still remember adults who made mean remarks like I look like a maid, I’m not pretty and I’ll forever be fat. Until now I can’t fathom why people can be so mean. I never dared to speak up to strangers. I was so quiet people thought I was a mute (my mother told me). But… I don’t talk much but I can sing. I would listen to my father sing on our home ktv set and learn those dowdy hokkien songs by heart. As I grew up I would sing along pop songs and thought, hey I could sing as well as those singers too… or watch competitions on tv and secretly thought, hey I can sing better than you…
But of course I never did dare think of displaying my talent in front of total strangers. Until uni, when there was a singing competition held in school, I was contemplating whether to join or not, a friend told me that we are only young once and I should go for it. I finally did buck up the courage to join…I had only 2 supporters at the competition then. Next thing I knew, BAM! I won first place. BAM! I had the opportunity to sing at a music café. BAM! I formed a band with friends turned bros. BAM! I had the opportunities to sing at events, on the radio, esplanade, etc etc. Just one tiny step from me opened so many doors of opportunities. Made a lot of boo boos along the way (I even went off key on national radio), I really learnt a lot, the exposure made me more confident; I am more comfortable being in my own skin. Most importantly, I dared to try and it got me somewhere.
I just don’t understand why trying to start a business can’t be the same. I know there are other pulling factors like money but what I mean is the spirit…the spirit of daring to try and daring to fail. Of course I’m not so self delusional… because I do have my fears of failing too. But I always tell myself, I am only young once…if I do not try, I do not know and I will become a “shoulda woulda coulda” person.
Wish me luck, will you?
Some days I find it impossible to lift my finger to do the most menial tasks.
Some people take my kindness for weakness. Sometimes I let it go; sometimes (most of the time) I morph into the ugliest person in the world. I have a lot on my mind these days because I’m getting increasingly frustrated at work (under-valued, under-utilised, not gainfully employed), and having the “I wanna leave but I can’t” syndrome.
Sometimes, I am convinced that what I’m about to do is wrong.
Sometimes, I am frustrated that people tell me I should be looking for another job. It’s just another way to tell me to wake up my idea because my plan to start a business is crappers. Most of the time, I keep my thoughts to myself because I find it very tiring to explain myself.
Well, it’s time to bring out the “you only live once / you are only young once” theory (which I find easier to type it out in words). I applied it once and I think it was one of the biggest achievements I ever had. Well I was (and still am inherently) an introvert ever since I was young. It didn’t help that I wasn’t a good looking teen, and was bashed for being ugly :(. Till today, I still remember adults who made mean remarks like I look like a maid, I’m not pretty and I’ll forever be fat. Until now I can’t fathom why people can be so mean. I never dared to speak up to strangers. I was so quiet people thought I was a mute (my mother told me). But… I don’t talk much but I can sing. I would listen to my father sing on our home ktv set and learn those dowdy hokkien songs by heart. As I grew up I would sing along pop songs and thought, hey I could sing as well as those singers too… or watch competitions on tv and secretly thought, hey I can sing better than you…
But of course I never did dare think of displaying my talent in front of total strangers. Until uni, when there was a singing competition held in school, I was contemplating whether to join or not, a friend told me that we are only young once and I should go for it. I finally did buck up the courage to join…I had only 2 supporters at the competition then. Next thing I knew, BAM! I won first place. BAM! I had the opportunity to sing at a music café. BAM! I formed a band with friends turned bros. BAM! I had the opportunities to sing at events, on the radio, esplanade, etc etc. Just one tiny step from me opened so many doors of opportunities. Made a lot of boo boos along the way (I even went off key on national radio), I really learnt a lot, the exposure made me more confident; I am more comfortable being in my own skin. Most importantly, I dared to try and it got me somewhere.
I just don’t understand why trying to start a business can’t be the same. I know there are other pulling factors like money but what I mean is the spirit…the spirit of daring to try and daring to fail. Of course I’m not so self delusional… because I do have my fears of failing too. But I always tell myself, I am only young once…if I do not try, I do not know and I will become a “shoulda woulda coulda” person.
Wish me luck, will you?
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